There are a handful of nerve-racking moments when looking forward to your ceremony. Oddly enough, the "first kiss" is one of those, as funny as it sounds. However, in this blog, we focus on the most stressful preparation item for a wedding: the writing of the vows.
In many cases, couples choose to simply recite or repeat the vows as led by the officiant. Some couple prefer to write their own personalized vows. If you decide to do this, it will create a very impactful and memorable moment for you and your guests.
Here are the most important tips to keep in mind as you prepare to write your vows:
Describe or story-tell your relationship journey together
In this first part of your vows, describe in your own words:
How you met
Any interesting challenges one or both of you experienced prior to meeting
Any challenges or "trials" life has thrown out you during your time together
Fun and interesting moments you experienced together, like a trip or event.
Describe who your partner is to you and what you admire and enjoy about them
Use phrases such as: "You are my _______"
What I most admire about you is _________.
When you are not around, I miss __________
Describe your vision or dream of your tomorrow together
Lay out the promises you are making with your vows
In this section, feel free to use traditional wedding vows as a guide to list out your promises
1 Corinthians 13 from Biblical Scripture is also a good template for the marriage vows
Start your statements with "I promise" or "I vow" or "I pledge"
Key sentiments that should be part of the marriage vows are: respect, honor, support, love, forgive, and encourage.
The final sentiment of your vows should be related to the "foreverness" of your promises.
In traditional vows, this is the "till death due us part".
This is not a promise that your relationship will be perfect. It's the promise that the relationship is important to you and that you will push through the imperfection and times of trouble to assure you come out of the other side together.
As you write out your vows, it will be done in about 3 phases or stages.
Write down everything that comes to mind, as if you are brainstorming the guidance provided above. Make sure your notes are clearly organized in the four sections listed above. Then walk away. Don't do all three steps at one time.
Review your notes and highlight the statements and sentiments that you like the most. As you read them, they should emotionally move you. Remember, vows don't need to be long. They need to be meaningful. Then walk away again.
This phase is when you polish the grammar and word flow to assure the different statements and sentiments connect and flow properly. You are weaving together your thoughts in a way that it will be comfortable to recite to your partner.
We hope these tips help you in the process and journey to write your vows. This is your special moment. Step into it with confidence and excitement. As always, we are here to serve if you need us.
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